That Girl Radio

JanYouary: 9 Steps to Trust the Process

• Rikki Lee • Season 3 • Episode 27

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Let's unravel the art of trusting the process and dismantle the myths of grind culture. Discover a pathway to a life that's both purposeful and joyous, grounded in the belief that stability and rest are not only possible in our hustle but essential. We'll traverse the wisdom of Psalm 125:1, learning that an unshakeable life is anchored in trust in the Lord. Prepare to adopt a growth mindset, manage your perceptions, and fully engage with the present, as these steps guide us toward patience and faith in our personal and professional growth.

Experience the rhythm of life's seasons and grasp the power of radical self-responsibility. By sharing personal anecdotes, I'll show you how single-minded focus and celebrating the minutiae of success can lead to exponential growth. We'll confront adversity head-on, understanding that it is not an impediment but a catalyst for resilience. You're invited to join this narrative that champions taking sabbaticals for creative rejuvenation and encourages you to step toward your dreams boldly. 

Did you enjoy today's episode? Leave Rikki a voicemail about what you took away to be featured on the next episode.
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Speaker 1:

Hey guys, and welcome back to that Girl Radio. It is your lovely host here, ricky Lee, also known as that Girl, and for today's episode of January, we are going to talk about the nine steps to trusting the process, because, as you know, perfection and progress cannot share the same seat. I know that I am a woman of progress, I am a woman of ambition and I am constantly in the pursuit of more. But with that sort of mindset can come the toxic ideology of grind culture and feeling like you have to conquer the world in just a day. And I am here to debunk all of those myths and reinvigorate in you the idea of trusting the process so that you can have real rest. First and foremost, the most important thing you can do is remember Psalms 125, verse 1. Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever. Trusting the process brings stability and security to our lives, and once we realize that the only person who can really secure our future is God, our creator, we can kind of stop feeling like we have so much responsibility to make it happen. Your steps were ordered before you were even given a name, and trusting in that gives me enough security to know that, as long as I tap into my source, as long as I tap back into my creator, everything will be revealed to me in due time. All I have to do is just trust the process.

Speaker 1:

So the first step to truly trusting the process is one adopting a growth mindset. You are a woman of progress. You are not a woman of perfection. You were made in his image and you were made to fulfill a specific purpose, and that takes progress. He didn't expect for you to download all of the answers on day one when you were born in the hospital. He expected that you would endure a lot of different life experiences and happenstances and whatever else to really mold you and shape you into the woman that you are today. And so, understanding that you are not going to know everything, you are going to have to be a sponge in this lifetime and absorb a multitude of different events, perspectives, people and hardships to become what is needed for your purpose. The second thing you're going to have to do is learn to control your climate. I have an entire podcast episode dedicated to this, so please go listen. It's one of my favorites.

Speaker 1:

But controlling your climate is understanding that there are certain variables that are just absolutely out of your control. The only thing that we can really do is control our reactions, our perceptions and the way in which we choose to move forward. There are going to be a multitude of different things that happen to you on the day to day so many different minor inconveniences or very huge and it's up to you to decide if you want to magnify the problem or if you want to magnify God, and I found that in the most recent months of my life, I have experienced a lot of what many would consider inconveniences, but I've learned to magnify God and not look at those things as something that will hinder anything that could happen for my life. If I'm called for it, if it's what's supposed to be in my life, as long as I tap into my creator and I ask for his help, there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to get what I need, and so learning to control your perspective and your reactions and, first and foremost, your temperament, is what's going to help you to make slow but steady strides towards your purpose, instead of feeling like you need to run at full speed and be like going at an Olympian pace so that you can reach your destination because, as we know with the story of the tortoise and the hare, slow and steady wins the race, babe. So take it one day at a time and learn to just control your reactions and your climate and you'll be just fine.

Speaker 1:

Step number three to trusting the process is being present. This requires vulnerability. This requires allowing yourself to be vulnerable to whatever is happening in the now. A lot of us want to look forward to the future or reminisce on the past, and that keeps you from allowing what is currently in front of you to affect it. Thank you, that is not a space that you want to be in. If you want to adopt a growth mindset, you have to be present. You have to be present for the experiences and learn from them so that you are able to grow from them.

Speaker 1:

I have been one to constantly look to the future and never allow what was currently at my fore, like on my plate, change my perspectives and shift my heart and shift my spirit. And when you're constantly in a space of looking forward to what's next, you never can truly appreciate what is now. And for me, what is my now is being a student. My now is being a business owner. My now is being a content creator, and I have to nurture those things before I look forward to the next blessing, because so many of us are so ready to tend to the fruit that we haven't even sown the seeds of.

Speaker 1:

You know like, you need to sow the seeds first to be able to tend to the fruit, and if you haven't done that, then why are you even worrying about it? Worry about the garden that you have right now. Worry about the harvest that you're supposed to be reaping in quarter two. Don't worry about what's going to happen in 2025, because at that point, you're chasing the wind, you're chasing a possibility, and what right now is the only thing that is for certain is your present, and so it is your responsibility to be present and rely on all that you have currently and thank God for all that you have currently and use that at your disposal so that you can get to the next level, because just think about how far you've come and the prayers that you're living in today. God provided you with just exactly what you needed to get you to where you are today, so why wouldn't he provide you with what you need to get you to what you need for tomorrow? It's going to happen. It's going to come, and you just have to truly trust the process and know that God is on your side, he is working for your good and he will provide you just what you need when you need it.

Speaker 1:

I believe there's a scripture and I can't think of it right now, but it talks about how you shouldn't worry about the senseless things Like, if God is so intentional and he provides the birds with the exact food that they need daily, why don't you think that he wouldn't do that for you? And so many of us worry ourselves with what we'll need tomorrow or what we'll need the day after that, and God will provide just what you need just for today. So know that and rest assured that there's nothing that you need that he can't provide. The next thing that you're going to do is learn to reset every so often. And how do you do that? You reset by reading your Bible, by recentering yourself, by surrounding yourself with people who bring you whole, bring you holiness, that bring you who you are and who's you are.

Speaker 1:

The next thing is doing progress reports. This is something that I'm sure none of us really liked in grade school, because the teacher would do a progress report and sometimes you know they would kind of glamorize things or just write something down just to have something to say to your parent and it was never truly indicative of the progress or the strides that you were making. Because you know teachers, they had a lot on their plate most of the time they weren't actively writing down on it as you were working or making strides in the class. It was like a thing that they would do at the end of the quarter and have to recount on their own memory the type of progress that you made. I felt like they were kind of senseless in grade school. However, you are not going to take it on that type of approach. What you're going to do is truly commit to taking note of the progress that you're making.

Speaker 1:

There is no way that we are able to evaluate the stock market on the level that we do, because people just choose to look at it every so often. They look at it every single day, numerous times throughout the day, and I want you to choose to look at your own progress in the same way. What is your stock level? What is your spiritual level? What is your health and wellness level? Look at how it ebbs and flows throughout the year and figure out what was going on at those certain points that allowed you to progress or digress. And that is what's going to allow you to take radical self-responsibility for the progress and or lack of progress in your life. Because, as much as we are called to rely on the Lord and trust in the Lord to provide all the things that we need, we also have our own will, and free will at that, to choose to do whatever we want to. And just imagine if God was to reveal to you on judgment day, right, the path that you went down because of the compounded choices that you made on a day to day that weren't necessarily the greatest, versus the path that he had set for you based upon you making the better choice every single day, and just look at how exponentially different those paths may look. And so, as you take radical self responsibility for the path that you might take, you're going to allow yourself to see the type of progress that you're making based upon the choices that you're making.

Speaker 1:

So, for me, I'm starting to keep track of my progress by seeing okay, when I put in this amount of effort and when I do these certain things, where does this get me? How does it change my mood every day? How does it change how I'm showing up in my classes? And while last semester was a doozy and I had so many different social aspects and like spiritual aspects that were really low, I had one of the best outcomes with school and that was because I was actually present. I removed a lot of factors in my life that were calling me to stretch myself thin and as I do my quarterly life audits, which are, in a sense, progress reports, I'm able to take account of all the things that I'm currently involved with and that are directly impacting my health and well being. And as I take account of these things, I'm able to see for myself how am I growing and how am I feeling in regards to those things. And I realized that last semester was the first time I ever was just a student, and sometimes that's all God needs you to be, is just one thing. He doesn't need you to be everything. He needs you to just focus in on one thing and do that exceptionally well, and then you will start to see results.

Speaker 1:

So many of us want to progress as women, we want to progress as the entrepreneur, we want to progress as the proverbs 31 woman. We want to progress as the girlfriend, the wife, the fiance, the mother, and it's calling us to stretch ourselves entirely way too thin, and I think sometimes God wants us to understand that there are seasons. There's a time for sowing, there's a time for reaping, there's a time for studying, there's a time for loving that. There's a time for everything, and you don't have to do it all in a day. You can do it all at certain points of the year and provide specific focuses for yourself and for me.

Speaker 1:

Learning to focus in on just one thing has truly allowed me to progress as a student because, instead of trying to progress in everything, I'm focusing on one thing, and that allows me to develop routines and habits that center around me making progress in just one area, and that's okay, because it's not that I'm digressing in any of the others. I'm keeping myself steady and level at one specific progress level for everything else in my life, putting it on hold, being present and just being a student, and that is what's allowing me to exponentially yield like great results in my coursework and my relationships with my professors and my networking, and in establishing what is going to be the next step for me directly outside of school. I realized that it was a very short season, but over winter break I nurtured my business and in that season I was able to convert one of the highest like clientele that I've ever had. It was like the highest booking that I've ever done and it was just so exciting for me because I realized that I was progressing in my business. Finally, because I had shifted my perspective and I realized that I can't do it all all at once and expect that I'm going to be great at everything. You can't be great in love, great in life, great in fitness, great in everything.

Speaker 1:

Because God calls us to be focused individuals, not overly stretched, and multitasking individuals. This year is the year of mono tasking. This is the gear of godly focus and that requires having tunnel vision and understanding that there is light at the end of the tunnel. There will be rewards for the work that you're doing because, in the Lord, your work is not in vain ever so, just trust the process and make sure to keep track of the small wins and celebrate them actively and not just in passing, not just in the small ways, not just giving yourself a pat on the back, actually genuinely celebrating. Celebrate yourself in the way that you would a friend if they were to have accomplished the same thing that you did. It's so easy for us to celebrate others, but when it's us, it's like, oh, it's whatever. Like keep moving. But no, you need to celebrate the small things. Celebrate the 20K, celebrate the 5K, celebrate the 1K, celebrate every little milestone along the way, because what you don't realize is you're in a relay race. Every single time, you take yourself to the next level, that's you handing the baton off to the next rebooted version of you, and she's about to sprint and take off and take it to the next level. But you have to meet her halfway. You have to be willing to take it there and then say to yourself we did it okay, I'm ready to hand it off to the next level.

Speaker 1:

The next thing you're going to do is tap into the cheerleaders of your life and ask for the chance that you need. The cheerleaders in your life can be your friends. They can be your family. They can be the faculty at your job. They can be the staff at your school, like whoever it is in your life if it's mentors, if it's sponsors, if it's advisors, whoever it is in your life that you feel like is a true positive cheerleader that, no matter what's going on, they know to get you amped up. So many of us are relying on just a crowd in our life to get us going, but you don't understand. That crowd sometimes expect for you to do something exceptional. They want you to do something crazy for them to make some noise, right. But the cheerleaders in your life aren't calibrated to seeing just nothing but the greats. They're gonna cheer you on even when you're not doing your best, even when you're not showing up as who they know that you can be. They're gonna cheer you on regardless. And so you wanna tap into those individuals who are in your corner so that they can keep you going, so that they can remind you to trust the process you might need to get that ball. Get that ball. You might need to get up. Get up Like there are certain chance and things that they can remind you of and speak over and into you to remind you to get up and keep going.

Speaker 1:

The next thing you're going to do is hold yourself radically responsible for the outcomes of your actions and I talked about this before in another point, but this is a point in and of itself Holding yourself to radical self-responsibility removes the victim mindset that you are where you are because life has dealt you certain cards. Because if I was to make an entire podcast episode about the cards that I'd been dealt in life, you guys would be extremely surprised and also all awfully inspired by how far I've come, considering how I came about. I didn't come about from a white picket fence and two parents who were madly in love and married and decided to do things the quote unquote right way. I was brought about from an affair and this is the first time I'm sharing this but I was brought about from an affair and that in and of itself, had a lot of guilt and shame on my view of myself, because I would constantly measure myself up to what I thought was right, what I thought was good, what I thought was whole. But nothing about my upbringing was lacking.

Speaker 1:

While I didn't have a full-time dad, I had a part-time one and I had a full-time mom and my mom was always there and she provided so much love and she provided just about everything that I needed. I thank God every day that he blessed me with her as my mother, because she has given me so many of the skills and tools that I teach you guys here on that girl radio, and so I would be remiss to say that I am a victim of single parenthood. I think that is my biggest strength I take responsibility for what my life looked like, but I also understand that what it can look like is determined by me. I might have been brought on this earth by something that people should feel shame about, but I'm proud because I am who I am today, because I was molded and I was shaped and I was given a purpose before I was even given a name. God put me on this earth to inspire other people to bring about the inner image that they have of themselves, but they're too afraid to manifest.

Speaker 1:

There are many images of myself that I thought of as a kid that I couldn't manifest, but I've manifested every single version because I didn't want to limit myself to what others might think was possible. It might not have been possible for a single parent to parent this type of kid, but she did, in spite of, in spite of not having someone to support her and help her in raising my sister and I. She made it happen In spite of me not having the resources to be active in sports or in different programs because my mom couldn't afford it. I found an affordable way to express myself, my outlet and, or what you could call my extracurricular, became my YouTube channel. I learned to use my iPhone and I started to use all the little change that I got on my birthdays to buy the things that I thought were going to manifest in my dreams. I tapped into my creator and I asked him how can I express myself, how can I learn to be more confident? And that was through crafting my own lane. And by doing that and holding myself radically self-responsible for manifesting my wildest dreams, I have learned how to help other people do the same thing.

Speaker 1:

Because if I would have just stayed in a mindset of I've been dealt these unfortunate cards and because of that I will never be able to live the life that I want, I would still be in Cincinnati doing things that everyone else is doing. I would still be limiting myself and feeling like I didn't love myself because I was too dark or I was too thick and my hair was too coarse, like if I would have stayed in that limiting mindset, I wouldn't be able to grow. But because progress is my birthright, because progress is what I need to reach my purpose. I have been willing to hold myself responsible for my daily actions and my mindset and my spirit. That's going to help me to arrive and arise to the occasion. Because, like I said, every single time that you make note of the progress you've made, that's you handing off the baton to the next version of you, that's going to take it to the next level.

Speaker 1:

And, for me, taking on that the free or the cheaper ways to express myself gave me an outlet, and that outlet became a stream of income and that stream of income became multiple. And so when God says be fruitful and multiply, he also, in a way, is telling you to be resourceful. There's all different types of ways that you can sow seeds. Some seeds grow from literally the concrete and some grow from nutrient soil. And some of my seeds had to grow from the concrete because I wasn't given necessarily the best cards in life but, metaphorically speaking, those are my wild cards. Those are what helps me to win the race and to finish the game and say, ooh, no, wow, like, it's just like that and it's a secret sauce, and it's something that no other person can really bottle up or give off.

Speaker 1:

Because that's my story, that's my story line and it's so beautiful and I wouldn't change it any other way. I wouldn't ask for different parents, I wouldn't ask for a different city to be born, in, different schools to go to, because every step along the way helped me to figure out how to pass the baton off to the next version of myself. That took it to the next level. If I didn't have the model of what it looks like to be an ever-evolving woman, I wouldn't be who I am today. My mother had to be an ever-evolving woman because she was a single woman. She had to do a lot of things herself, and the model and the you know basically example that she set for me has paved the way and the path for a lot of the ideologies that I have. I think I learned a lot from my part-time dad and I've taken that into account for relationships and a lot of other things and what I do and what I don't want for myself, and so I take responsibility for where I can take it.

Speaker 1:

My parents gave me the foundation, my upbringing gave me the foundation, my circumstances gave me the foundation, but it's up to me to use them as wildcards or just keep them in my back pocket and keep using it as an excuse on as to why I'm not getting anywhere and it's like you're holding on to it. You need to release it. Release the trauma, release the circumstances that were unfortunate. Release all of that, because that is not your identity. It's just a wildcard, it's just something that's interesting. I would have never thought, but that's dope that, in spite of, perhaps, if you experience sexual assault, in spite of the racial, the racism and the sexism and so many other things that you endured the colorism in spite of all of those wildcards that you have, you've set an incredible pace and you're at a pace and you're at a level where you know you could win this thing. You could end up eons ahead of a lot of other people because they don't have any wildcards, they don't have anything that they can say, possibly set them back, but ended up ultimately catapulting them in their journey, because that's what made them so unique and so special.

Speaker 1:

And so hold on to those things and be committed to being extremely self-responsible, and the last thing you're going to do is develop an unwavering commitment to consistency. So many of us want the harvest, we want progress, but we're unwilling to be consistent, and I've been that person. I want the progress, I want the numbers to grow, I want the income to grow, I want my spirit to grow and my faith to grow. But I'm not willing to be committed because I commit for two days, don't see no results and I'm like, well, you know what, it's not worth it. But how do you know if it's not worth it if you don't commit to trying it out? Same as with a product, you don't just use it one day and be like, oh, this is great, like no, you use it in multiple different instances, in different environments, in different lighting. Like you got to test it out and really see if it's really for you, if you're really committed to the cause, if you're committed to the brand and if you're committed to yourself. You got to show up every single day, rain or sunshine, regardless of how you feel. You have to continue to be committed to the progress and committed to the process, because you know it's not going to show up overnight.

Speaker 1:

My story didn't show up overnight. I don't live the way that I live today because yesterday I decided I wanted to be that girl. This is 21 years in the making. This is so many breakdowns, so many hope cycles of me having to endure pain and having to persevere and then gaining hope. And I did that over and over and over and over again. And I had a beautiful conversation with my mother recently and she told me that she admires my resilience because I've been resilient through a lot of different shortcomings in my life, a lot of different things that should have held me back but have just become wildcards for me.

Speaker 1:

It's a wildcard that I was overweight when I was young. It's a wildcard that I am a dark-skinned woman in a world that doesn't celebrate blackness. It's a wildcard for me that I have 4C hair when we live in a world where it's only celebrated if you have silky tresses. Like it's a wildcard for me that I didn't grow up in a two-parent household. It's a wildcard for me that I am 411. Like there are so many different wildcards that I have that I can just say, well, here's that, here's that, here's that.

Speaker 1:

But in spite of all those things, I still rise. In spite of all those things, heaven is my limit and the only limit for my life. I will never allow any of those things to hold me back. If anything, I allow them to push me forward, because that gives me so much more of an interesting perspective and a different value add at every table that I have the opportunity to either sit at or build. I've been building tables along the way because, unfortunately, because of some of those wildcards, I wasn't given a seat, but that's what gives me a unique perspective and something beautiful to add to this world, and so allow God to use those things that make you you and be committed to showing up as that. Be committed to speaking up about that, because there's someone else out there that needs to hear your story and feel seen. And that's the exact reason why I ever even started my platform was because I realized that there are so many women like myself who have nothing to look forward to. They have nothing to show for the progress and the strides that they're making, because they don't see women like themselves sitting in the seats that they want to sit in one day, and so I've taken the radical self-responsibility to show up as that.

Speaker 1:

I want you to see what it looks like to be the head of a digital media powerhouse. I want you to see what it looks like to sit at a table and oversee the strategy that you see on billboards. I want you to be able to see a woman that cares about representation in media campaigns and so much more. I want you to see a woman that cares about advocating for black women and women of color, like I want you to see a woman that cares about spirituality and bringing more people to Christ, like I want you to see all of those things in me, because that is you.

Speaker 1:

You can be that, and a bonus thing that you can do is take sabbaticals, and this doesn't have to be alone. Talk to your friends and your family and ask them if they are willing to embark on a couple of days, a week or even a month of just complete rest, because in order for you to progress, you have to refuel. You have to. So, to reduce that burnout, you're going to take time away from your work, the work that you have to do, and try doing some more of the things that you want to do, and this will not only enhance your creativity and your innovation, but this will also drive your productivity, for when you come back from the sabbatical. I have a professor and also an advisor for an org that I'm a part of, who took a sabbatical last semester to do research, because, on a day to day, his job requires him to be a professor, to instruct, but he took this time away to do research, and what this does is give you a new, fresh perspective.

Speaker 1:

And so sometimes, in order for us to progress, we need to observe. We need to just sit back and stop trying to do and just be an observer of life, be present and just look at what's happening around you, and you never know what that might inspire you to do or change your mind on, to help you truly start making progress, because the definition of insanity is doing things the same way, looking for a different result, and some of us have been stagnant and haven't been able to progress because we've been stuck in our own ways, and sometimes God just wants you to take a step back and rest and look around you, look to your left and to your right and see what's happening, and also take assessment of how you're currently feeling and how you want to feel, and think about all of the changes that you can make in your day to day, in your work, in your friends, in your environment and all of those things that can truly allow you to progress. Well, I really hope you guys enjoyed today's episode on trusting the process, because, as we know, perfection and progress cannot share the same seat. So boot out perfection and take your rightful seat for progress so that you can start to actualize the woman that you know you are called to be. If you enjoyed today's episode, make sure to share it with at least one friend.

Speaker 1:

I know there are so many more women out there who are trying to realize the life of their dreams and they just need a little help doing so, and this podcast is made exactly for that. If you're not already following that girl radio on Instagram, make sure to do so. It's just the podcast name. And if you're not following your lovely host, ricky Lee, what are you doing? You can find me on Instagram at rickyleeco, and on TikTok at brickylee. And if you haven't already rated the podcast, make sure to do so and leave a review. And helps us a lot so that we can reach more women like you. I love you and I will catch you tomorrow.