That Girl Radio

It's Not Over

• Rikki Lee • Season 4 • Episode 7

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Have you ever been smacked with a 'no' that felt like the end of your dream quest, only to realize it was just the beginning of a different path? That's the heart of this week's supplement on That Girl Radio, where we dissect the beauty of resilience in the pursuit of dreams. Join me as we sift through the good, the 'God things,' and the downright gritty truths of chasing what sets our souls on fire.

This episode takes more than just a leap of faith; it dives deep into the spiritual pool where we find the courage to embrace patience and obedience to a higher calling. Sharing personal stories of when 'good' opportunities weren't quite right, I bare my soul about the kind of fulfillment that comes not from material success but from aligning with God's plan. There's a joy that comes from walking a path paved with purpose, and I'm here to walk you through the highs and lows of what it means to live a truly blessed life.

The conversation turns to a heartwarming tale of a swimming lesson that taught more about bravery than strokes and kicks. Just as I helped young Barbara find her courage in the water, I'm here to remind you that with a little irrational faith and a community of support, you, too, can navigate through life's storms. 

Did you enjoy today's episode? Leave Rikki a voicemail about what you took away to be featured on the next episode.
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Speaker 1:

Hey guys and welcome back to that Girl Radio. It is your lovely host here, ricky Lee, also known as that Girl, and you are now tuned into your weekly supplement to help you live and design your best life. And for this week's podcast episode, I want to remind all of you that it is not over. Okay, I want to say that one more time. It is not over.

Speaker 1:

There are so many of us who are in a season right now where we are waiting for deliverance, we are waiting for the promise, we are waiting for the blessing, and it is so easy to feel like, because you've heard a no, that it is over, and I want to remind you that it is not. This is only the beginning. Okay, you have to persevere through the nose. You have to go through the storm in order to appreciate when the clouds part, you know. So don't be so caught up on telling yourself that it is over. There are a lot of things at this point in my life that I have been holding on so closely to, a lot of promises that have been made to me. I've had a lot of people in my network come to me with opportunities that I thought would turn to gold, but God has truly been reminding me that my destiny is in no one else's hands but my own, and that I can't afford to quit. I can't just lie down in defeat because things aren't turning out the way that I thought that they would, because that's just life. So many of us has written down in this grand plan right at the start of the year of how we think things should be going. We think that by the end of quarter one we should be having this much sales, this much growth on our platforms, these type of grades in our classes. And sometimes it doesn't pan out that way, but it doesn't mean that the work you've been doing is pointless. It actually means the work that you've been doing is working. It means that you've been putting forth effort and there is something for you to perceive and be able to say okay, there's some data here, there's some proof here that you've been present. Hearing a no back from a job is one of the hardest pills to have to swallow, but it is evidence that you put yourself out there. Setting goals and not meeting them is evidence that you put forth effort. So stop looking to the markers as signals that you failed, but rather as signals that you have tried. You tried at something I talked earlier this week on my TikTok.

Speaker 1:

I went live and I talked about how it's just so weird when you're in this season of trying to achieve, trying to accomplish, trying to reach your purpose. It's kind of like you're running at full speed down a hallway and there's just nowhere to go and you're running, and you're running and you're running down this hallway and there's all these doors, but it's like they're trap doors. None of them can really open and when they open, it's like an opportunity presents itself. You're like you're desperate because when you're running down that hallway trying to chase your purpose, you have failure right on your tail. It's getting closer and closer and closer to you and you just feel like you have nowhere else to go. But this door has opened and you don't care what's behind that door, you're just ready to go through it because you just don't want failure to catch up to you. And we can put ourselves in quite dangerous circumstances when we subject ourselves to these situations. And I've been there as I'm running towards my purpose or running towards my goal of having a full-time role.

Speaker 1:

Coming out of college, I've had a lot of opportunities presented to me that were definitely not in alignment with what I think God has planned for me, but because it was an opportunity, I was excited. I felt like I needed to be grateful and I felt like I needed to go full throttle towards that opportunity, and so I was willing to go through that door. But it was just slammed shut right in my face and it was like no, this can't be. This has to be a joke. Why is the door being closed now all of a sudden, when just a few seconds ago it was open? I'm so confused. But God closed the door and so you get yourself together and you're like okay, okay, failure is catching up to me. I'm not quite a failure yet. Okay, I'm going to keep going. I'm going to keep going.

Speaker 1:

And you run down this hallway and failure is just creeping up on you and you see another door open and you're like, okay, this isn't exactly what I plan to do. But like, okay, let's try it out. And you try that thing out, and you try to go through the door and then it shuts on you and you're like what in the world am I supposed to do? I'm starting to feel like this is a horror film, like I am literally running through my life, running through my day to day. I'm putting in all of this effort, I'm exhausting all of the energy that I have towards these opportunities. That aren't even necessarily in alignment, but they're what I think are a good thing.

Speaker 1:

But there's a difference between a good thing and a God thing. I want you to remember that. It's not over for you my love, because you've been subjected and surrounded by good things, but are they God things? Are they God things? Are they the thing that God has called you to? Is it the opportunity that God has called you to? Is it the opportunity that God has carved out just for you? It's a great question and I ask myself that question every single day because, as I'm faced with opportunity and then no, another opportunity and then no, it's very challenging to stay optimistic and faithful in a season where there are a mass amount of opportunities and pathways that I can travel.

Speaker 1:

But God keeps reminding me that every good thing is not a God thing, every vision is not your vision and you have to be able to discern that as that girl, as God's girl, because you are extremely gifted, because you are a woman of many, many talents, there are going to be so many opportunities that come to you that are just amazing, and you have to be willing to say, hmm, okay, god, let's sit down, let's meet, let's convene. And I want you to tell me, forget, tell me, let me tell, tell me something of you. Okay, what is this? Is this for me or is it not for me? And some of us are really hard headed and stubborn, and so God just has to close the door, slam it straight in your face. You sit and you go through the door and you have discernment. You sit there, you see the opportunity and you're like, hmm, okay, this isn't exactly what I wanted to do, but like, okay, I'll write my name down, like whatever. And then God's like I gave you the skill of discernment, why aren't you using it? So I guess I gotta slam this door in your face and you're sitting there. You're confused because you're like I'm qualified, they called me. I'm confused. Why wouldn't you allow me to go through with this opportunity if they called me?

Speaker 1:

And a lot of times, god doesn't necessarily want to use you in a space. He just wants to remind you in that space, remind you of who you are and remind you that you are worth so much more. Every single opportunity that has been presented to me I kid you not in the past few months have been in alignment with what I want, but God says you could have that and more. Next opportunity comes. He says, look, you can have that. And more Next opportunity comes. He's like, look, you can have that and more. Every single opportunity that has been presented to me has been in alignment, but it has been below the threshold of the capacity that he has given me. He said, ricky, I'm calling you to more. He's saying the same thing to you guys as well. It's not over.

Speaker 1:

Don't throw in the towel just because the doors are constantly closing. The denials keep coming through and you feel like there's just nowhere else to go but to allow failure to catch up to you, because I'm here to tell you that there is more fight in you, there is more run in you, there is more breath in you. You have the endurance to get through it. You can get through it because God has built your endurance, he's built your perseverance, he's built up your resilience and you can get through whatever life throws at you so long as you're willing to say okay, I'm gonna use my discernment and I'm going to allow God to willingly guide me down this path. We made it to the place that God was preparing for us, and because we decided to relinquish control and allow our obedience and our discipline to guide us, rather than allowing our failure to the fear of failure to push us forward, we were able to make better decisions.

Speaker 1:

In seasons of severe desperation, you can often turn what once was your ideal blessing into a curse Because of our worldly timelines. We think that we have to define when something is supposed to happen, we think we know what type of title we are supposed to have, we think we know what type of community we're supposed to be and what type of apartment we're supposed to live in, what type of car we're supposed to be driving, and we think that we are ultimately the drivers of our lives in this lifetime. And it's just like yes, kind of, but at the same time, no, you have to be willing to relinquish that control and say okay, god, what is it that you have for me? What do you have in store for me? Not what does this world have for me, what Instagram has for me, what LinkedIn has for me, what this recruiter says they have for me? Like no, god, what do you have for me?

Speaker 1:

And that's a question that is very hard to ask, because that is making you vulnerable to succumbing to saying no to the things that are quote unquote good things. You will have to start to say no to the things that don't make sense. You're like girl they're gonna give you six figures. Why are you saying no? But you remember that every good thing is not a God thing, but every God thing is a good thing, and so I will wait. I will wait for my salary increase, I will wait for my promotion, I will wait for my title, I will wait for my community, for my divine relationship, for my partner, for my dream apartment, my dream car. I will wait for all of those things because those are God things, and when it's my time for me to have it, it will truly be a blessing and it won't be a hindrance to my growth and so many of us, especially young people. There's just so much pressure for us to attain materialistic things. As soon as you graduate, as soon as you like, hit this milestone. You need to prove to the people you did it, and I'm here to tell you that you don't have to do that. You don't have to do that. You don't have to prove anything to anyone.

Speaker 1:

My favorite saying is that I have an audience of one. Now you guys are a plus. I'm grateful for you. God is using me as a vessel every day. But, at the same time, if I had none of you, I still would feel fulfilled because, at the end of the day, I'm here to please him. I'm here to allow him to use me, and that requires me putting aside my own desires and I put aside a lot of my desires in these past few months, a lot of the things that I thought I wanted, a lot of the things that I thought I needed. He has completely removed from my palate. My entire taste preferences have changed. I don't like really going out. I don't like drinking, I don't like doing hookah.

Speaker 1:

It's a process that I never thought that I would see myself going through at such a young age. I look at other people who are on fire for God, who are on fire for change, and I see them make such drastic changes and it's scary. I commend you, I love what you're doing, but I'm not ready yet. I'm not in that season. I'm just not in that moment. I felt that way from much of my college experience. But now I just feel very different.

Speaker 1:

I feel like I just want to be radically obedient to whatever it is that he says that he wants me to do, because when I have been obedient, I've been happy, I've been joyful. Forget happy because for something for you to be happy, something hasn't happened. But, like in my seasons of joyfulness, it's not because anything is necessarily happening in my life, it's truly just because I'm in a season of obedience. I'm just doing what I was told. And there's just something in knowing, like even in our physical parents, right, when you're obedient, when you listen to your parents as much as you don't want to, when you listen to them when you get through whatever situation it is that they gave you advice on, you're like man, I'm so glad I took their advice, like that was helpful, right.

Speaker 1:

I feel the same way with God, like when I sit back and I say, okay, look girl, you've been doing it this way for so long. How about we do it his way? And when I do it his way, it's like it's 10 times easier. And it's the same thing, like do you want it to take 40 years or do you want it to take 40 days. Just listen, listen to how it's supposed to be done, and it can be done 3,000 times quicker. And that's the point that I want to reach in my life and I feel like, in order for me to get back my fight, I have to get back into my word.

Speaker 1:

In seasons of dire desperation, that is the times when I find myself clinging to my Bible the most, that's the times that I find myself like doing my devotionals the most. But, like I wouldn't encourage you, even if you're not in a season of desperation, if you're not in a season of needing answers, to still hold on, cling to your Bible, cling to your daily devotionals, get your daily bread, dive into the instruction that he gives us on how to do things, because that is where you get the real instruction and you can understand for yourself like, oh, this is how it's supposed to be done. I've been doing it this way and clearly it's not getting me any results. Clearly it's not making me happy. Clearly it's giving me anxiety because I'm not going through things with him. I'm going through things with fear rather than faith and I'm expecting to be okay.

Speaker 1:

And I feel like this last week of my life has been really tough, as have a few others this semester, because I feel like the clock is ticking and I feel like I've made this imaginary ticking time bomb in my head, of like, when graduation date comes, this needs to be final, this needs to be for certain, and we often can fictionalize timelines. We think that because school starts in August, we gotta have another job by August. My brain is wired to the school calendar and so I'm thinking like I have to have a job by May 1st, or at least by August 1st, or I need to be moving to school by August 1st. It's just like it's so funny how wired we are to how the world does things and we think that things must come the way the world has designed them to come, and so it's really rough, like rewiring my brain, to think otherwise and realize that the fight isn't over Once I graduate, like once I get the job, it's still not over.

Speaker 1:

I have to fight daily for my purpose. I have to fight daily to be in my word. I have to fight daily to be an embodiment of Christ. I have to fight daily to just be me. That's challenging in and of itself, to just be God's daughter. So to know that is to know that you have to wake up every day and fight. It's not over. It's not over for you financially, it's not over for you spiritually, it's not over for you mentally, it's not over for you physically. It's not over. He's not finished with you. He has a lot more that he wants to do with you. He has a lot more ways that he is going to use you and he has a lot more ways that he's going to continue molding you and you just have to trust the process.

Speaker 1:

And for those of you who have never had to trust the process, I really do encourage you to listen to my podcast episode from the January series of how to trust the process, because it is really hard to undo the really hard habit of holding on really tight to the plans that we've made, especially as type A individuals Like I'm, a type A girlie through and through. Okay, I'm going to plan something from the router to the tutor, and I'll do it probably three more times just to check and make sure everything's in place. So when you are that type of individual, it is hard, it's really hard to take a backseat and say you can do whatever you want to do. I have never been that way, guys, I've never been someone that has been relaxed and just like let it flow. I'm someone who comes up with a plan A, b, c, d and there was another period in my life where I thought I had the big strategic plan and God told me absolutely not, that plan was foolish. Let me show you something else. And when he showed me the something else, he put me in so alignment. It was like I was in a state of flow, like I was just like soaring through life and I just flourished in a way that I never thought that I could, because I was so in my head thinking of things rationally.

Speaker 1:

Because we think we have to plan it all out and rationalize our life. Your life is not meant to be rational. As a believer, I don't think anything in your life truly can be rational. You have to be irrational to know and be willing to keep fighting. You have to be irrational. You have to wake up every day with a bombastic attitude that this life is yours and your desires are known to him and that he can make of reality whatever it is that you want and that is within his will. Let me add that in there as well. So if you are irrational. Kind of delulu is what the term they use these days. Then you're just like, yeah, and so what? I don't have the certification, but like I was called, so it doesn't matter, so what? I've never done that before, but like I was called, so it doesn't matter, so what I've only done it for a couple of years doesn't matter, so what. I never met this person who they say I need to meet in order to get into the meeting. But guess what? I got into the meeting.

Speaker 1:

The reason why it's not over for you is because he's in your corner. That is your boost, that is your booster pack in your fight. Have you ever played like a fight game and there's like the controls on the joystick and you press it and like, when you press it, it like boosts your character. And now you're doing like super kicks or super flips or like head locks and all types of stuff. That's what it is Like. I wanna be so radically obedient that I can just like tap into that and God has me doing some results flips, dips, trips and whatever else to get me to where I need to go.

Speaker 1:

And right now I'm relying on my own energy. I've been fighting by myself and all I need to do is just tap into him and he's like boom, I got you, girl, we knocking everything out, KO, game over. That's all you have to do. Like, when you think about it like that, it's like dang. Every single day I've been fighting alone, fighting my anxiety, fighting my depression, fighting this immense amount of pressure to be perfect, fighting this immense amount of pressure to have it all figured out, and you finally realize like wait a minute, I'm exhausting myself. This is like round 21, because I've been doing this for 21 years and you're telling me this entire time I could have just like pressed this button, tapped into him and I could have like knocked this thing out in two seconds.

Speaker 1:

And when you have that sort of revelation, it's like whoa well, let me tap into you more, let me help you, let me, let me ask you to help me fight my battles a little bit more often, because why did I ever think that I had to go through it alone? And I want you to know that you, you not only have to tap into God, like you can tap into your community, you can tap in, especially to the that girl community, and like leave notes, dm me, dm one another, like DM, someone on the that girl radio follower list, and just remind them of how amazing they are and how purposeful they are and how the goodness of God flows through them, and so there is nothing that is out of reach for them. Do that, encourage the people around you so that you can get some of that energy back, because I promise you, what you give is what you get. So many of us are so stuck and caught up in becoming, so stuck and caught up in achieving that we forget the most important thing that God has called us to do is to be neighborly. He's called us to be in and of community, and so you can't do that if you're always in and of your work. Step back, step aside and immerse yourself into a good girlfriend group and see what it does for your mental health, see what it does for your spiritual health, like it is truly healing and to have just one divine friend. But imagine having five, imagine having six, imagine having over a thousand from the that girl community. Like, tap into us truly.

Speaker 1:

You do not have to fight alone. Your battles are not your own. The battles that I fight every single day, I realize are not my own when I sit and I put in an application and I am overlooked. That is a battle that so many other black women, and even just women of color, have to face. But when I keep fighting, when I keep trucking along, I'm pushing the needle forward and I'm making progress for us. But I don't have to fight that fight alone, but it is the fight in me I have to remember, because we all play a part that is going to push the needle forward.

Speaker 1:

So you cannot give up, you cannot give in. You can take your days of rest. You can take your days and sulk and be sad and then be really upset about the circumstances of how life is going to be, the circumstances of how life is just so unfair. But then you have to put back on your big girl boots and your that girl pants and say you know what? It's not over. I will not allow failure to make me weary. I will not allow anxiety to make me feel alone. I will not allow depression to make me feel like I'm not enough.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to keep fighting, I'm going to keep trucking along and I'm going to go after what it is that I said I was going to go after, because it's mine. You want to know how. I know it's mine, because he said so. Be willing to fight for the things that you deserve. Be willing to fight for the things that you've earned. You are called my love. You are not lucky. You are not a statistic. You are not a number that your department has to reach. You are a person with a purpose and that is worth fighting for. So don't give up. No matter how many knows you hear, keep going as if the next one might be a yes. No matter how many denials you receive in the in the mail, remember that maybe the next one could be the yes. There are thousands of women around the world who are pushing the needle forward because they are willing to have enough fight to get them through the next 24 hours. So what are you going to do? Are you going to have a little bit more fight? Are you going to truck along? Or are you going to cave in and be cowardly? Because God didn't call you to be cowardly. He called you to be big, to be great, to be brave. And I'll leave with this one last message, and I've shared this before, but this was such a profound moment for me as a teenager and I think it could be a source of encouragement for you all.

Speaker 1:

When I was just 16 years old, I was a swim school teacher at Bear Paddle in Cincinnati, ohio, and during this particular summer I decided to sign up for summer swim camps. So I would be working specifically with one student for an entire week, and this allowed us, as swim teachers, to work with these students very closely to ensure that they were able to accelerate within all of the swim school curriculum rather quickly. The things that we taught were like, obviously, floating, doing your traditional paddling and just being able to do a little breaststroke. This particular student was doing very well on her front. She was able to swim on her front very comfortably, and her mother had a goal for her to just be able to float by the end of this, because they were planning on going on a vacation in an open body of water and she wanted to ensure that her daughter would be safe. And so it's about the third or fourth day of the swim camp, can't remember exactly, but I do know that I have developed quite the rapport with this student, right, like she knows me, I know her, we're making jokes Like she is my friend and I want to let you know that her name was Barbara.

Speaker 1:

Barbara, I love you, girl. Like you changed my life. So this little old lady because what a name, barbara, right, and she had the cutest little old soul and we're working together and I made a deal with her. I said you know what? I want you to try this out. You've been refusing to do the backstroke and float and I really just need you to try for me today. Okay, like I really need you to try for me. And you know, kids they try to bargain with you and tell you, like you know, I'm not doing this, I'm not doing it. And I'm like, okay, look, if you do it for 10 seconds, we'll be good. Okay, just 10 seconds, that's all I need. So we, we come down to a deal 10 seconds. So she's prepping herself Me as a swim teacher.

Speaker 1:

I'm fully submerged in the water. I'm waiting for her to kind of step off of the platform and allow herself to kind of fall back into my arms as I guide her into this float, and I hear her uttering under her breath. She takes a deep breath and she says be brave, barbara. When I tell you, my heart melted and her head just like landed into my hands and I'm just guiding her, holding her neck and her head, as she's doing this float and we're counting down from 10. And I'm just in awe of this little girl and one and two, really in awe of her, of her mother, because obviously this woman is doing an exceptional job and modeling for this young lady how to step out on fate.

Speaker 1:

Now, I was in the water with her. You could think of me being in the water as kind of like God. You know, we make all these bargains and deals with him like, okay, god, I'm going to give you 10 days, can you make this happen for me in 10 days? And then he's like, okay, let's go. And then you kind of whooshed on, you have faith and he makes things happen for you. But what I want to do is take it even deeper and just say sometimes you don't know what is to come of any situation. Just say I wasn't in the water and I wanted her to just go out there and do it on her own.

Speaker 1:

She sat there and she even had to utter the words be brave, barbara, be brave. And what does it mean to be brave? It means to put aside all of your worries, your fear and anxiety in order to go relentlessly after what you want. Her end goal was to master this skill and, although she was extremely scared, she told herself to be brave and she realized right after that it wasn't so bad. I was there the entire time to help her and guide her through it, and I want you to know that God is the same way.

Speaker 1:

There are so many things that he wants you to just try. He wants you to just push forward and get through it. So many of us are just refusing to try or refusing to dip our toe in, because you're just so afraid that you'll fail, that you might drown. But you've built a rapport with him, right Like you know him. She knew me, she knew I wasn't going to allow her to drown. So she was able to say be brave, barbara, and trust that I was going to keep her safe while she was able to explore this new thing and exercise a little bit of faith. So I want you to do the same thing and know that it's not over. You have a lot of fight left in you and all you have to do is just be brave and be willing to go after that thing. That is so scary. That is like this big mountain that truly is only you that you just have to climb and get over. Get over you and get over your fear of failure and your fear of being everything that you said you didn't want to be, because if you stay still and stagnant, you get further and further and further and further away from who you really want to be.

Speaker 1:

So I love you guys and I really do hope you enjoyed today's episode of that Girl Radio with your lovely host here, ricky Lee. If you're not already following the podcast on Instagram, make sure to do so. We have tons of interactive content on there where we do a let's Talk Chat series where I talk to you guys about the episodes content and you give me some feedback and let me know your thoughts. And if you're not already following your host here, I am found on YouTube giving you bite sized episodes on how I am building also and designing my own dream life. You can also find me on TikTok at therickylee, and on Instagram at rickyleeco. I love you, guys and I will catch you next week.