That Girl Radio

Who's That Girl? Blake Lawren's Blazing the Path from Drafts to Destiny

• Rikki Lee • Season 4 • Episode 9

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Ever wonder what it takes to carve out a successful career in the glitzy world of beauty and fashion journalism? Blake Newby joins us on That Girl Radio to illuminate her path from uncertainty to industry powerhouse, revealing the turning points that defined her journey. She pulls back the curtain on the emotional whirlwind that comes with putting your work out there, finding purpose, and the strength that emerges from a community rallying behind you.

Tackling the beast that is imposter syndrome, Blake and I get real about the high-pressure stakes of networking and the vitality of authentic connections. We reflect on how kindness and professionalism can launch you to new heights, while sharing anecdotes that underscore the value of a sterling reputation. Blake's narrative is a playbook on evolving career ambitions, balancing personal goals with professional strides, and why nurturing both aspects is crucial for a fulfilling life.

To cap off, we take a joyride through Blake's upcoming plans, infusing our listeners with a dose of ambition to 'hit publish' on their dreams. The episode wraps with laughter and a shared excitement for what's next, assuring you that embracing new trends can be just as exhilarating as honoring your roots.

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Follow Blake on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@blakenewby_

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Speaker 1:

you got to start hitting publish If you hold it in the draft too long. I just always think about how many people probably just aren't the biggest thing in the world just because they were afraid to hit publish and like how scary that must be because the world is a rough place and we're scared of criticism and all of these things. But at the end of the day, if you know your purpose, you know your why and you have people around you that support, you just do it.

Speaker 2:

Hello everyone and welcome back to that Girl Radio. It is your lovely host here, rikki Lee, also known as that Girl, and you are now tuned in to your weekly supplement to help you design and live your dream life. Welcome back to our exclusive series here on the pod, entitled who's that Girl, in collaboration with various women who are breaking the glass ceiling, building their own tables and rewriting the blueprint for success, this week we have the pleasure of unpacking with Blake Newby how she's trailblazing the pipeline from drafts to destiny With bylines across major publications.

Speaker 2:

Blake Newby's love for beauty and style has catapulted her work across numerous platforms, transforming her longtime knowledge of all things hair, makeup, skincare and fashion into a career where she wrote, conceptualized and reported on everything, encompassing the high-demand industry director's voice now shines off the pages, nailing viral interviews with celebs such as Lori Harvey, jack Harlow, halle Bailey and Rihanna, just to name a few. Her gift of gab now lands her on the big stage and on the small screen. You can frequently catch Blake hosting major events such as CultureCon, as well as lending her expertise on shows such as Good Morning America, access Hollywood and the Tamron Hall Show. When she's not fully entrenched in the world of hosting and commentating, blake serves as a beauty venture scout for a major investment fund, proving that she truly is a 360 industry authority. Blake, welcome to that Girl Radio, thank you.

Speaker 1:

I'm so excited and so honored. How are you?

Speaker 2:

I'm good. It is a lovely day here in Columbus Ohio. I could not ask for anything more, because they have the rationing sunshine everywhere, because it's sunny where I am.

Speaker 1:

So I'm like OK, finally, but I can't get excited because we had good weather and then it went back to snowing in certain places again, so I'm just fingers crossed that this is here to stick.

Speaker 2:

Are you an East Coast girly?

Speaker 1:

I am an East Coast girly, so I live in New York City but my parents live in the DMV. So it's, you know, Easter weekend. So I am here in the DMV currently at my parents' house in the DMV.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I love that. I was thinking about going back home for Easter.

Speaker 1:

I haven't decided yet, but I guess I should, I mean the thing is I tell people all the time because I'm so go, go, go, go go. A lot of times all I want to do is sit in my parents' house for days at a time and like only wear pajamas and like never take my bonnet off and like that's like what I want to do. Um, because it's like it's such a difference from the life that I usually lead from day to day. So I mean, you know, I think a break with mom and dad is always a good idea no, it really is.

Speaker 2:

You don't understand how healing and just spiritual it is to just come back. It's a home and it's like there's no obligations.

Speaker 1:

I love it and I feel like with age I valued it more. I feel like, had you asked me like three or four years ago, I probably would have been like, and even like two years ago I was like you never come home.

Speaker 2:

You never come home, you never come home. And now I'm like, oh girl.

Speaker 1:

I'm coming home tomorrow Like get the room ready, get the room ready, so no it is.

Speaker 2:

It's fantastic? No, truly. My parents are only about an hour and a half away, and whenever I do get a time to just that is truly my escape. That is my oasis. That hour and a half, oh, that's a perfect amount of distance okay, I'm scared, though, because I'm about to graduate and I'm probably gonna have to take a flight to see them now, and I'm like, oh god, you've all yeah, but I feel like that it just makes you value them even more.

Speaker 1:

And then, as you get to a certain point in your career, you'll be at a place where you can prioritize getting to see them and be able to do it more based on you know as you grow throughout your endeavors.

Speaker 2:

Right, well, I love all of that. We're definitely going to get into why Blake is a go go, go go girl and why she needs these breaks of Oasis at her parents' place. But before we get started, I love to always start the show with this icebreaker, because I think it's just such a perfect window into how someone is able to be so successful. And so I'm curious what is your, that girl morning routine?

Speaker 1:

Oh, my God. So I I'm going to be honest, I don't currently have one, and it's it's to my own detriment, and it has been because, like I said, things are so up and down I'm not home a lot. This has probably been the year that I've traveled the most, which is crazy because it just started, but I have like never been home and so it's hard for me to create real routine, which is something that I said that if I can't do it this year, the next year I really want to do. I've gotten much better at setting realistic goals for myself. So, like you won't see me saying like starting tomorrow, I'm going to like because know myself like I am a serious procrastinator. I have to like mentally prepare for certain shifts, so I but what I will say is consistent is I do.

Speaker 1:

I'm a breakfast girl, so I have breakfast every single morning. I, if I, if it's a Pilates day, then it's Pilates in the morning, depending on the day, but like, if it's not a Pilates day and I'm weight training or doing cardio training, that I literally just throw it wherever in the day that I can fit it in. I drink coffee every morning. I am a coffee girl and I take lots of vitamins. So those are the things that I will say are consistent across the mornings.

Speaker 1:

Now, what time it happens is kind of predicated on. You know what time did I get in from a night of events If I didn't have any events the night before then? I'm usually an early riser but yeah, I wish that I could sit here. I'm always like inspired when the girls on TikTok are like get ready with me and it's this like regimented thing, and I'm like, oh wow, like I need to get. I need to get a routine, because I will say that I fully understand the value of a routine. My life is just not in the position where I have been able to not only create the routine but, I think, stick to it the way that I need to.

Speaker 2:

Right, and I totally understand that.

Speaker 2:

I have a whole podcast episode talking about how not the early bird gets the worm, but rather the intentional bird gets the worm and it sounds like you have such great systems in place taking your vitamins, drink your vitamins, drinking your coffee, doing your Pilates, like things that are going to keep you well, regardless of if you decided to wake up at 5 am or 10 am, you know, and that's how I feel too, it's like. So I am, like I said, naturally my body, I'm an early riser, you know, and that's how I feel too.

Speaker 1:

It's like so I am, like I said, naturally my body, I'm an early riser, but I have found that when I was waking up at 5, 30 especially you know now that my life isn't where I'm online from a certain time because I don't have to get everything knocked out before a certain hour, as many people do I found that when I was knocking everything out before 10 am, I found that when I was knocking everything out before 10 am, I had nothing to do from 10 am to about 9 pm. Like nothing to do Right.

Speaker 1:

And so that was stressing me out too. So now I do like to spread things out throughout the day, and that's what I mean by. It's just it's kind of difficult to create routine, but I want one, and I understand the importance of one that part.

Speaker 2:

So for all the people out there who are feeling guilty about not having a morning routine, just know that even Blake Newley doesn't have one Girl.

Speaker 1:

I'm so jealous when I see the girls with their beautiful espresso spreads and they're up by a Pilates done by seven and I'm like, oh, one day not today, but one day.

Speaker 2:

One day. I just think, truly, the people who put out that sort of energy are people who I don't think are chronically spreading themselves thin, and so you have the time to really invest and not feel guilty because you're taking away from something else and I think that's something that I kind of grapple with constantly is like, okay, I can invest this much time, but it's taken from something else.

Speaker 1:

I love that phrase. Chronically spread thin. That is the story of my life. That should be my middle name Chronically spread thin, because I agree, sometimes too, like you said, for those of us who are chronically spread thin, if there's a day where I haven't seen my house in two weeks, then there might be two or three days where I don't want to get out of bed at all you know what I'm saying when there's no routine and things like that. So it's like my life does very much operate on two extremes, which is why I think it makes it even harder to create that routine and that regimen.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I feel so seen in this moment, because you talk about those two extremes. No, because when you are a, like I said, a chronically spread thin individual, when you feel like you've been robbed of the ability to take care of self because you've been taking care of business, you kind of guilt yourself into just being lazy because you're like I don't want to do nothing, I've done everything. But then when you do nothing for yourself, it's like okay, it starts to look a little crazy, Like okay, let's get up, let's do something for ourselves.

Speaker 1:

But I only realized that this year in the experience, because I was last year. I was like you haven't left the house in four days. Well, yeah, that is because you had not been in the house for three weeks. Like it is okay to to just rest, and so it's like my rest days really look like rest days because it is from sunup to sundown. I'm only getting up to get the Uber Eats from the door and shower, brush my teeth, and then we are. We just throw on a different pair of pajamas and we are right back in the bed again. So it is.

Speaker 1:

I had to get okay with that, because it was like we all need rest and I think too not to sound. It was like you sound like an old woman. But I'm telling you, the second you reach the end of your 20s, your body, if you don't slow down, your body will do it for you, and I think I've seen that even more with me. It's like like it was like how do you go, go, go? I'm like. So the thing is it has not been without consequence, and I think that people don't realize that, and so I have had to prioritize the rest because it was having consequences on my body, contrary to what TikTok may show. So rest is essential.

Speaker 2:

It is, and I really want to circle back to that later on in this conversation and before we get into how just important the rest is. And you fashion enthusiast. But tell me a bit about the dreamer you once were as a kid, and if younger Blake envisioned herself occupying the spaces you are today.

Speaker 1:

So I will say because I do think it's so cliche when people are like no, I never envisioned this for my life. I knew I was going to be a star. I did not know how, I did not know what capacity, but it's like when you look at kid photos like everybody's like, oh, this is you're. You've just been this over the top from birth. I'm like, yes, like my parents are, like we, we'd expect nothing less from Blake. But did I think it was going to be in this capacity? No, but I think that anybody nobody that social media would look like this, that all of these things would look like this, that social media would look like this, that all of these things would look like this. Right, I think that this is a space that nobody really knew that they could occupy. I think Generation Alpha, of course, can see this and aspire to this from the time that they are young.

Speaker 1:

But when growing up, I did. I used to want to be on TV. So I used to want. I used to tell people I wanted to be Soledad O'Brien. That was the exact person that I would describe it as like news and all of these things. So the first job that I ever took in New York City. I just took whatever job would get me there and it was a CBS News. The issue is that news is a 24 hour cycle, so I worked and I was the new girl. So I worked Wednesday to Sunday, 4 pm to 12 am. Anybody who has lived in New York City knows that that feels like a death sentence, because you're like I can't hang out with my friends.

Speaker 2:

I can't do New York.

Speaker 1:

I don't have weekends Like.

Speaker 1:

I just hated it. I was literally there for three months before I started fishing for other jobs and the thing was there were examples, right. So it's like growing up. Tia Williams, I feel like, was the example, mickey Taylor was the example, susan Taylor were the examples, but there were so few of us that I just didn't necessarily think that I could get into that space in that capacity. However, I just started looking in the lifestyle space, the beauty space, the fashion space. I was cold DMing people, cold emailing people.

Speaker 1:

Finally, a friend of my parents his wife at the time was the deputy editor at Glamour and they reached out and they were like, can Blake just do coffee with you? Like she just wants to do coffee. I get to coffee with her. She's a Black woman. I'm telling her about how much I hate big news and like all of these things and she's like oh well, you should meet the beauty director. At the time, the beauty director also was a Black woman, Sorry, senior beauty editor. So she was second in command to the beauty director and she was like, would you like to meet her? I come back to Condi and ask the next week, do lunch with her. Her name is Simone Kitchens. She's absolutely wonderful. And Simone looks at me and is like well, my beauty assistant quit today, do you want the job? Did not look at my resume, did not like anything, so I'm sitting here, I'm like do I want the job?

Speaker 2:

Talk about.

Speaker 1:

God. I'm like do I want the job? Hell yes. So I turned in my two weeks at CBS and for two weeks again, because of the hours, I worked both jobs. So I turned in my two weeks but was working both jobs. So I would go to Glamour from 8.30 to 3.30., would hop on the train, be at CBS by 4, work 4 to midnight, and I did that for two weeks straight and at the time I didn't have weekends too, because you know, I worked weekends with CBS. So it was like I was working seven days for two weeks and then finally went over to Glamour and it was there that I learned so much about the industry. I was still there when print was there, so I learned so much about the industry. I was still there when print was there. So I learned how to move a magazine, which is a skill that a lot of people don't know now, like the process of bringing a magazine to print and how that process is so different than digital.

Speaker 1:

I was there for about a year and then, when I was, I went freelance, so I was writing for. I wrote for this really small indie publication, revelist. They gave me my first chance and, like, made me a permalancer, so I was working 40 hours a week for them. And then Kalia Underwood, who now is actually at Matt Cosmetics another Black woman, another woman that went to Howard, who I was introduced to actually through the deputy editor at Glamour, had told, had reached out to me and was like, hey, we have a position at the Zoe Report doing as the beauty features writer, which I absolutely loved because it was the first loved Revelist, loved what it did. But the Zoe Report was well respected, it had a lot of respect from brands, so it put me in front of brands again and I took on Essence as a client as well. And yeah, and then Corey Murray, who I adore, was the deputy editor at Essence at the time and she was like I want you to full time lead beauty and fashion and so that is how I ended up at Essence and it was a fantastic springboard.

Speaker 1:

I was there for about a year and a half and then I decided it was time for the Blake brand, which is a whole nother story in the pivot. But I didn't do a full 180 pivot, I did a 90 degree pivot and went into venture capital under a woman who I told basically like I'm not going to sign any non-competes, like I want to be able to do, to build the Blake brand freely. She was totally OK with that and so that's what I began to do. So since then it has been the Blake brand freely. I now consult with the venture capital fund, so I'm not full time with them, but I now consult and it is full time the Blake brand.

Speaker 2:

I am obsessed with that entire journey because what I heard was that not only did you have grit, at some point in there, you had to have had faith, because to take the leaps that you did from here all the way to glamour and then going freelance, like those are leaps of faith. Am I wrong?

Speaker 1:

it is. It is and I've talked about you know the dynamics behind leaping as a black woman in New York City before and in those capacities because I think financially it's not.

Speaker 1:

I don't. One thing I hate doing is BSing people. I hate telling people if you had that dog and you didn't work like it. I think that we gaslight Black people all the time and we're like particularly Black people and we're like you know, if you just work hard, you can do it. No-transcript. So many women have reached out and they're like you know, I've been working at this for five, six years and I feel like an asshole. You know, like an asshole, like I don't. I hate and now I'm just going on tangent, but I really hate when people get on social media and just tell Black people just work harder and it'll work. You know there was, like I said, the glamour job was still a family friend.

Speaker 1:

You know, my parents paid for me to live in New York for the first three years. You know I didn't stop asking my parents for money and full transparency until about I'm 29. Now, like two years ago, you know what I'm saying. Like that is the realities of breaking into these very specific industries that are super sought after but do not pay.

Speaker 2:

Wow, I mean thank you for your transparency, because I feel like there is honestly a lack of transparency in so many spaces, because you look at it and you're like, oh, it looks it. Because you make it look easy, like let me just say I know it's not.

Speaker 2:

You make it look like it's just effortless and like things are just coming to you, and I know that things aren't coming to you because you don't work hard, but also because these things are in alignment. You've chosen a purpose path, not just something that is lucrative for you or you know like you did this intentionally and you've been very purposeful in drafting this life story for yourself that is inspiring so many women. And so for those of us out there who are looking to break into these very niche spaces that don't want us, that don't want to pay us, what words of encouragement or resources can you point us to so that we can? That's a tricky question.

Speaker 1:

I think like I know that sounds bad Like we can't be resources to everybody. Girls reach out to me every single day. Right, we can't be resources to anybody. Girls reach out to me every single day. Right, we can't be resources to anybody, but reach out to those that can't. You know, you'd be so surprised at how many girls have reached out to me. I don't have anything, and this is not just saying just me. Lord, don't listen to this and just reach out to me, because I ain't got the bandwidth, like that's going to fix me out y'all, I ain.

Speaker 1:

What I mean is you'd be surprised how many of us like Kalia Underwood, like me, and Kalia hadn't been in contact for years and then she hit me up. So you'd be surprised. So many girls have hit me up. I'm like I have nothing for them now. Or somebody will reach out to me a year later and be like, hey, I need somebody for this. I remember a girl that I met who told me that she does this and now she's doing this. So I think the network is, of course, your first resource. I think the beautiful thing now is that there are a lot of organizations specifically geared towards that, like thinking specifically of, like Fortune and Forks. However, that is in a metropolitan city. I think that matters too. Proximity does matter too. I do like to tell people that Fortune and Forks is fantastic. What Nana is doing with every stylish girl is fantastic. So kind of seek out these now I'm not saying all of them. Somebody's girl boss. Brunches are just a bunch of mean girls who's looking to make 125 of 25, 25 a head.

Speaker 1:

That's not me sounding like a like a trying to be an asshole, but I don't think it is. It is easy to get wrapped up in the well, let me just. These girls will sell, a lot of people will sell these things. And you know, I listened to this TikTok once that was so informative and she basically said it was Simi, it was my girl, simi, who I love to death. And she was like, if there is somebody selling you a seminar on how to be an it girl or a seminar on how to on how to shine, it is not real, it's not real, it's not. I don't suggest going that route. Um, I I just don't like, if it's in you, you know, like don't, don't let somebody pay, don't pay absolutely tell you what you you already know about yourself.

Speaker 1:

You're just afraid to exercise, right, like, don't let somebody you know charge you. Charge you, like I said, $175 a session for that. It's not worth it. But, like I said, I think network is important. I think that some of these organizations really are legit. Like I said, fortunate Forks Every Stylish Girl at creating resources. I think, too. The Creative Collective is fantastic at posting job listings specifically. So you know, while some groups are great at just creating spaces where you can connect, I think the Creative Collective does a great job at both putting people in position to apply for certain roles and the connection of community. So my biggest thing is just community and social media. You know, like social media just has so many resources for us.

Speaker 2:

It absolutely does. I mean I connected with you through social media. We've been mutuals on TikTok for I don't know how long and I just have been in all of you. And then I went to CultureCon. It was my first brand trip.

Speaker 1:

It's so fun.

Speaker 2:

It's so fun, it's such an amazing experience and it's put on by the Creative Collective and Imani. Just her vision is just so vast and what she's doing for our culture is so monumental and you were a host there, like, can you talk about what that experience was?

Speaker 1:

like. Yeah, one thing I will always be so grateful to Culture Compors they were the first people who, without seeing a reel, without seeing anything, put me on that stage, but Speedy, like it wasn't like, they put me on the stage with. You know, they trusted that I could hold my own alongside someone who was already so respected in the industry, with no questions. You know, I literally had a friend, one of my dear friends, khalid, who was working with them and was like like I think Blake would be great for this and they said, yes, um, so I, I you know it's, it really is the power too, of, of connectivity. And just at the end of the day, yes, khalid knew me but, like some of the people that he talked to, had met me and I was, and you know we had beautiful interactions and things like that.

Speaker 1:

So that was a fantastic experience. It was the first time that I was on stage hosting for anything that big and it has rippled effect. I've gone on to host even bigger rooms, like Afro Tech and things like that. So it was a spectacular experience. It was the first experience like that but, like I said, it's a testament to. It's really important how you treat people, because sometimes people even when they do not. I could have gotten up there and bombed.

Speaker 2:

Like I, could you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1:

I had never hosted in that capacity before. Yes, people knew me because of my previous career and I did the interviews at Essence and at that point the Lori Harvey interview had come out and all of those things. But interviewing somebody and hosting a main stage are two very different things. They require two very different types of you know, a different presence. So it was fantastic. It was something that I wasn't expecting but, like I said, to this day I thank the Creative Collective and CultureCon for that.

Speaker 2:

I mean, you also have to applaud yourself because I'm sure at some moments, like you said, coming from a space of interviewing people, having these viral moments on red carpets, to being on a main stage, I'm sure there was a time where you had to silence an inner critic or any imposter syndrome that you had going into this and can you speak to what?

Speaker 1:

that was like. What I am recently experiencing is that I think imposter syndrome especially when you are in these very public spaces like we are in, it comes and goes, you know. So I thought like I told people, like maybe I'll say middle of last year up until about last month, I was like I don't have imposter, like it wasn't existing. I was like, period, yeah, bitch, like you didn't thought it, like I did it, you combated it, it's gone. And then it has just come back. When you are in these changes and you choose a role that constantly requires pivot and the validation of others, it comes and goes. When you feel like you are living in the purpose or deserve what is happening to you right now. And I think that I am in a place right now, not so much I don't feel like I deserve it, but I don't feel like I am as I am where I need to be. And it's always interesting because people are like oh my God, but you're doing this, you're doing that, but when you're and you can, you 100 percent can can relate to this super, super ambitious P10Q. There's never enough, which is not great. But I feel like I've hit a point where I'm like, yeah, this has been good, this has been fun. Yeah, yeah, I did this, but I'm not doing what I want to do. I'm not doing as much as I feel that I should be doing, so I'm actually living in that moment right now. It is something that I have been racking my brain about for the past few weeks because I'm like I'm not where I want to be.

Speaker 1:

No-transcript. You keep a community around you. I speak about them all the time on social media. I have the most divine friends and family that I think any girl could ever ask for, who built me up, who I know would still be here if all of this went kaput tomorrow. But when that inner voice kicks in, and that inner voice is really gnawing at you, I think you just have to focus and come center. I think you really have to center yourself.

Speaker 1:

Therapy I have a great therapist, but, yeah, it comes and goes, and I think that that has been. The beauty of growing older is that I have found that I need different things at every different facet of my life, and my new thing is asking myself what does Blake need? In this exact moment? Regina King was on the Jimmy Kimmel show and he asked her how are you right now, and so I think now I take a lot more inventory about where I am in the moment so that I can figure out what I need from then, because I've realized that it's going to change and it's going to keep changing. I hope that by the end of this year I'm like girl, I don't have imposter syndrome, I'm that bitch, what you mean? Okay, right now, in full transparency, I don't feel that way. So you know it ebbs and flows.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's so funny that you say this, because you are currently where I want to be. I envision myself being a media mogul, having opportunities to work with a lot of brands hosting, and it's so funny we always move the goalposts further and further and further away from where we are currently, and where I am today is probably where one of my supporters wants to be, and so we have to applaud, and, like I'm so glad that you said that, because that reminds me that I'm right where I'm supposed to, you are.

Speaker 1:

You are.

Speaker 2:

I'm somewhere where that's someone's goal, so that's to be applauded, that's to be celebrated, and I think that affirms even more that the places you're going, you have a right to go there. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1:

Yes, because we're working at it and we are yes, yes, yes, and because we're working at it and we are we. You know, I think like, like I said, overly ambitious people. It's like that dog in us. The goalposts will never stop moving. I'm like it's going to have to eventually. I'm like Blake we can't, we can't persist like this forever. But for now, I am OK with the goalposts moving because I know where I am.

Speaker 1:

You know I tell people all the time. People are like so what was your end goal? My glass ceiling was essence. That was what I thought I was going to be doing when I was 45, 50 years of age. So the fact that I broke my glass ceiling and was done by the time I turned 28,. The goalpost has to move. I used to want to be Soledad O'Brien. I entered the industry.

Speaker 1:

I said I want to be Soledad O'Brien. I entered the industry. I said I want to be somebody's beauty and fashion director. I did it by the time I was 28. Now I'm saying that I want to be the girl who you see hosting every single major dating show, game show, major event, the CFDAs, everything like that. There will come a point, though, where I'm doing that and it is a completely different goal. Now I want my own show. Now I don't want my show at all. I want to own my own work and create spaces for other Black women.

Speaker 1:

Like I said, I've gotten comfortable now in understanding that life is not linear enough for me to ever feel like I am necessarily doing exactly what I want to do. But I'm just going to keep pushing the goalpost so long as it's not detrimental to me or the bigger goals that I have, Because work is not the only goal I have. Like I am at the age where you know I want to be a mother, I want to be a wife, Like I want those things, and so that will require different the way those goalposts have to move. So yeah, girl, you know how it is. It's stressful for us overachievers here.

Speaker 2:

It really is, and it's hard to just sit back and be relaxed because we don't know what that's like. No, and at this point where my life I'm like at this fork in the road and there's like five different pathways and I'm like, well, which one do I go down, yep? It's nerve wracking because you're like, oh my gosh, well, I don't know what to do.

Speaker 1:

But what a blessing to have options. You know what I'm saying. What a blessing to be so equipped with the skills and the talent that you're like. I could go five different ways. Either way I'm going to be good at it, but the issue is figuring out which one is going to take you to your destiny, and that is that is where you sit with those five and you're like oh my God, I'm losing my mind, because what if I pick the wrong thing?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I don't want to get too deep, but I feel, like you as a writer and also me as a writer like there are so many drafts that I have of like what my destiny could look like. I'm sitting down and I like to always say this on my podcast that, like I'm not the sole author of this life, god is my co-author and I sit and I go in the writer's room with him and we make these drafts and we're like, okay, ricky, we could do this, we could do that or we could do that. What story do you want to write? And it's nerve wracking sometimes, and I feel like I have some really beautiful drafts in my arsenal that I'm scared to enact because I don't know how the story is truly going to unfold. Have you had any experiences like that? Oh, absolutely, but I think now my prayers look different.

Speaker 1:

I don't necessarily what I prayed for. Yes, it's specific, but I think is where you used to see me say all right, god, I'm praying that in 2024, I am on a show, right, like I pray for, whereas my prayers used to look like that in specificity. I think now I have really prayed to God for the discernment and the preparedness that, whatever happens, that I am prepared for, because the one thing that I that scares me more than the lack of success is they throw a show at me right now and I am not prepared. But I asked God for it and God gave me exactly what I wanted and I am absolutely prepared for it. So I think that, like where you talk about the drafts, girl, I can have drafts for days. I still do, like I still have a million and one drafts, but I think that how I pray over those drafts is different, because now it is the girls. Let me tell you, I done been the girl. That's like God, I really want a boyfriend. God was like here, this dude go, and so we've got like we thank God that Blake is still here and in her right mind, like right.

Speaker 1:

So now my prayers again look different. God, prepare me so that if I meet somebody who is, who is my person, that I'm prepared to receive, then they're prepared to receive love and prepared to give love in the way that I need to. And it's the same thing with my career in any aspect of life. So I think now, writing the drafts, like you said, god is the coach. I let God do more work than I think I was willing to let him do before. Before I had to be the driver and I think now I am okay being the passenger, but I am okay with God doing 55 and me doing 45. If he's like because I'm letting you know that your 55 going to be wrong Like it's not, it's not right. So, yes, I still have those drafts, but I think that how I execute the drafts is very different now.

Speaker 2:

I love all of that because I'm in a place where my prayers look like God break protocol on my behalf. Forget. If I'm ready, Yep Break the protocol. And I think it's so important because even like to go into a pop cultural moment with Risa Tisa. We all know and love Miss. Risa. She talked about how important it is to wait for your moment.

Speaker 1:

It is.

Speaker 2:

Because you can turn what you once thought would be a blessing into a curse, because you're unwilling to be patient and to allow yourself to mold into the person that is ready for what you're asking for, and we see it every day.

Speaker 1:

We see it every day what happened to so-and-so, what happened to so-and-so, what happened to so-and-so? And in so many cases, not all you know sometimes just things phase out, like sometimes your time really does, just, you know, come to an end. That's how the universe works. But I think that in some cases it's like, oh right, he or she did that dumb shit, and then it never, it never. You know what I'm saying. And then we never saw them again.

Speaker 1:

And that is why I'm like I want to be prepared, and if that means the show don't come this year, god forbid, though, because prepared, and if that means the show don't come this year, god forbid, though, because I'm trying to be on the show this year. But if the show doesn't come this year, then that just means that I wasn't ready for it. And I was actually having this conversation with a good friend of mine because a lot of us are in this headspace as we enter the 30s and enter our mid 30s and I was saying I, last year, wanted to be hosting somebody's show. When I look at exactly who Blake was a year ago, blake could not host anybody's show, and for a myriad of reasons, and it's things like that that ground me and sit me in gratitude, because I'm like again, had I gotten what I wanted last year, it would have looked a lot different, and not in a positive way.

Speaker 2:

Amen to that. Amen to that Because when I think about what I wanted at 18. Girl, I'm like you weren't ready for that.

Speaker 1:

No, no, I'm like Blake. I wanted to be married at 23. In what world? That is outrageous. That is outrageous. But if you got, I'm telling you, had I become a wife at 23, I wouldn't. There would be none of this, there wouldn't be the Blake on TikTok, I would have never taken Essence. Everything beautiful that has happened for my career did not start happening until. It's always been a process, of course, but this Blake that you all have been able to see didn't start happening until I was 26, 27 and I was trying to be somebody's wife.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely, not absolutely, okay, absolutely we had to put that on the back.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we had to put that on the back burner. Now it is a priority again, like I said, but but in a different way and I know myself so much more so that it's like if I was somebody's wife it wouldn't mean the end of the Blake brand.

Speaker 2:

No facts and like I love what you said earlier that the goalposts, and just like moving through life isn't linear, because if you see the way God works, in all of our lives, nothing just ends Like things can loop back and come back around and you can have these full circle beautiful moments because in the midst of the journey he prepared you, he got you together so that you could receive it and turn what you wanted truly into a blessing. And one of your full circle moments that I can think back to is you being an intern at Essence in 2012. And then turning back and being a beauty and style editor in 2021. Like was that wracking your brain at the moment? Like wow, god, this is crazy.

Speaker 1:

It was it didn't make sense. Like I said in the post, like I made a post and I included the photo of me at the Essence office is like I could have never have imagined it and that's how to your point, that's how you know that it is meant for you. Like that is a book I could have never written. And to the you know, I want to be clear, corey, I tell people all this time, corey Murray, who hired me at Essence, she asked me three times to take that job. I told her no twice Over a span of a month. And the third time she called me and I was a little drunk. I was in Aruba for one of my best friend and line sister's birthday, and she called and she said Blake, my spirit is telling me that you are supposed to have this job and so I'm going to ask you one more time will you take this job? And baby, didn't Pina Colada say. I said yes and I took the job and I don't. And you know my experience as an editorial side.

Speaker 1:

Essence was the springboard to the Blake Noobie that you all see today. It was the platform. It was the first time that I got to show my speaking chops in front of celebrities. It was the first time that I got to bleed these huge things, these huge cultural moments like that. I got to say that I was one of the people at the forefront of cultural moments like the Method man shoot, of cultural moments like Cardi B and her family. Like I get to look at those things and say no, no, no, you don't understand. We were there from sunup to sundown. I was in that room. I hired the stylist. I knew, like those are things that I can say now that only would have happened if that full circle moment came about. So, no girl, I couldn't have written that book if I tried, but I didn't have to.

Speaker 1:

Like I said I let God do the 55%, and that was the story that was written.

Speaker 2:

And I just I'm in awe. I keep saying this, but truly I'm in awe of the woman that you are, because we hear often, as women, that there will be a glass ceiling. There is this glass ceiling, there's this obstacle, and you said earlier that you broke through that glass ceiling. That was essence, yep, and went on to do even bigger and better so for those of, for the listeners, who are fearful of the glass ceiling you think it is?

Speaker 2:

10 feet thick. Yeah, how can you encourage them to hit it head first and just launch themselves into their destiny?

Speaker 1:

So that is going where the imposter syndrome is going to have to. You know you're going to have to believe in yourself past the imposter syndrome, because imposter syndrome can debilitate you. You know I'm working on some things right now that people have been telling me to do for years, that I am just now doing because for so long I was like well, what if I fail at it? Like and I think it's like Blake, what and what if you do fail? Like you know, like like what if you do fail? It won't be. You know who you are. You know it won't because you're not talented and if everybody has been telling you for a year and a half, just then maybe you have the chops to do it. You're going to have to fight through the imposter syndrome and be OK, pivoting, like.

Speaker 1:

I have been very uncomfortable. Everybody always says like, did you know that you were going to land the way that you landed when you quit Essence? I didn't, but there was that voice I had spoke about on a different podcast. There was this voice and I'm not even that girl. I will never be the one to be like listen to the. Sometimes the voice cause, sometimes the voices are absolutely wrong.

Speaker 2:

So I'm not telling it like that.

Speaker 1:

But there has always been just this gut feeling in this voice that has always said you are, your destiny is really big, your destiny is really really large. And so when I jumped, I knew that I had set myself up financially, which is a very important piece, because everybody's like do not just jump, especially if you live in a city like New York, la, do not just jump. When those safety net, when it comes financially, I knew I could leave, I knew I was financially safe and leaving, but I just knew that I kind of. That's why I say, when the imposter syndrome kind of you know, didn't exist, I was just riding the wave, I was letting God take me wherever God wanted to take me and I was just like, wow, every step is better than the next and it's working out and it's working out.

Speaker 1:

And there will be phases of life as you're getting to that glass ceiling where it seems like things are just working out, and then you'll hit a speed bump, which is where I feel like I am now, and you're going to have to tap into community and to fighting the imposter syndrome again so that when you hit the next glass ceiling you can do so with momentum. You're have to believe in yourself. I know that sounds cliche, but I too have witnessed. I, my friends, are always like late, gonna be the one to tell you what the hell's.

Speaker 1:

I just cursed out somebody the other day we went to dinner. She's like I'm scared to post my gc's absolutely spectacular, as so many people are. I give it her a deadline to post a tiktok. I see her at an event. I'm like bitch, bitch, where's the TikTok? Where's the TikTok? At some point you are going to just have to believe in yourself and leap, but do so with caution. I don't necessarily believe in being completely the Lulu. I believe in a little bit of the Lulu, but I think sometimes the Lulu. I heard that story that poor lady that moved to Houston to be an influencer and had 113 followers, and I was like this is not a good idea.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah so do so with a little sense, but you just got to go.

Speaker 2:

I know that's not very, those aren't very concrete steps, but I feel like once I hit my glass ceiling I was just like all right, we just got to keep going no, I love all of that like you talk about the momentum, because it gets easier and easier once you feel like, oh, this wasn't 10 foot thick to be thick, this is actually really thin, like well, this is not yes, but how will you know if you don't hit it? You know I'm saying how exactly you don't run into it.

Speaker 1:

So so, let that momentum sometimes take you.

Speaker 2:

And when you talk about setting yourself up and preparing and you even talked about earlier the difference between a 90-degree pivot versus the 180. Can you describe the difference for people who want to take the leap but don't really want to jump all the way off the porch?

Speaker 1:

Absolutely Well. My response to them is don't jump off the porch if it is not safe to jump off the porch. I think that, unfortunately, what social media has makes everybody think I was recently talking about this on a panel is that everybody's going to be a Monet McMichael or everybody's going to be a Keith Lee, right? But I think that even with them, no-transcript to the company, so you can't make money off your likeness. So I had to leave for a lot of brand deals to start rolling in, because brands know editors can't do it. It's just a known thing. So I was making a decent amount of money but I was not making enough. So my pivot was when the opportunity to go venture capital with a Black woman came about, salaried, full-time, and she told me I could do whatever brand deals I want. I could do whatever. It was fully remote. That is what I mean by a 90-degree pivot.

Speaker 1:

I did not just leave asset dive into the Blake brand, I had to work a full-time job again. The difference was that the full-time job just allowed me to monetize, continue to monetize and make money. It allowed me to go on all the brand trips I wanted to without having to stress out about writing. You know what I'm saying Writing all day, because that's a whole thing within itself. And then I was there for maybe about it really was four or five months before the Blake brand had grown so big that I didn't have to be full time anymore. And then I had to have another conversation and that's how I ended up.

Speaker 1:

You know that, especially in this economy, in these economic times, financial stability is not something to just bat your eyes at. So that is what I mean. The lady that I'm working with for something exciting coming up, I thought that this was her full time job. She was like no girl. I have a nine to five because this isn't quite big enough yet, and so I think that doing it with caution is really important, and sometimes it might not even be 90.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes you might have to take a 40-degree pivot. You know, I was recently speaking to some ladies and one of them wants to be in film. She's in her early 30s. She understands that she's going to have to take an entry-level position in film because she's never worked in film in order to do it. So she has set herself up financially that she can take the financial hit, go entry-level and then pivot. You know, sometimes the pivot isn't forward, sometimes it is a pivot that is counterclockwise. But whatever can get you into the space, just don't let social media tell you that you know you can quit your nine five next Friday and everything is going to be OK, because sometimes it's not. So, yes, that is the realist, the realist in me.

Speaker 2:

I hope you guys took notes. Yes, because it is for real. Do not move out of your state with $145 or with 133 followers. You need more. You need more.

Speaker 1:

You need more, you need savings, you need all of those things, and it is okay, it's okay.

Speaker 2:

It's okay, and it's also okay to be perceived trying and not get the results that you immediately want, I think so many of us move with more caution than curiosity.

Speaker 2:

and you have to move with more of curiosity than caution because if you're just dipping your toe in, like let me just see, I'm gonna half-ass the TikTok and then try to be like I'm gonna bank on the algorithm to make me get a million views and get me brand deals, it's you're moving more with caution and curiosity. Maybe put forth a lot of energy, do the bare maximum in what you want to do and let's see what the type of results that it yields, and then use that as the measure or the value system of okay, should I move forward?

Speaker 1:

So many of us get so discouraged.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you have to do the bare maximum At some points in my life. I will tell you, I did the bare minimum and it got me the minimal result.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes yes, yes, yes, you have to, you have to work. And she was the wrong. She was the wrong messenger, but Kim K was right when she said nobody wants to work these days.

Speaker 2:

She was.

Speaker 1:

It's true, it's true, it's true, we all got on her when she said it, but she was right. You have to work. This did not come overnight. Yes, you know it has come at a, at a really for what some consider a fast speed for me, but I think anybody that knows me know that I'm a and I am a dog and I am easy to work with. You ask brands like how's Blake to work with? She's on time with content. She's on time to whatever event she has to show up at. She works. She does what we need her to do. She's organized with giving us the content. She's easy with edits. She's kind to the people that she's working with. Don't also think that just because it's not enough to just be good at your job early on right.

Speaker 1:

We see all these celebs who are getting called out for being assholes now, but do understand that there was a time where they weren't acting like that because you couldn't be. Being good at your job is not enough. You need to be kind to people, you need to be easy to work with and, like I said, I'm a lot of things. All the girls don't like me. I'm not everybody's cup of tea, but when you ask these brands what it's like working with me, when you ask businesses, television networks, what it's like working with me, they're going to say Blake works and she shows up and she does the work that she needs to do that part, because what people don't realize is that your name and your presence precedes you.

Speaker 2:

It does Before you walk into any room. It does and I love to use the analogy that your life and how people perceive you is very similar to Lyft, like you want people to have a five-star review every single time they experience you.

Speaker 2:

And it's not because you want a people, please. It's because you want people to believe that you are a pleasant person there. Because you want people to believe that you are a pleasant person, yeah, there's no reason to be walking through life and be a bitch. No, because you feel like you have some sort of status or you've earned the right to be rude, mean to people it's, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't work.

Speaker 1:

And the thing is it's like, like you said, the higher, like, the harder they fall.

Speaker 1:

We're seeing that right now, oh yes you know the world will allow you to get to the absolute top, just so that the humbling of you can be that much more nuts, like I am. I am a firm believer of that. So it's like, it's not like you can just stop being nice, right, because that's what like. But all of these people like these are people A-list, some of the biggest names ever in the industry, and now it is like this crumbling of the entire empire, and it's like because, again, the world, the universe, god, whatever you want to believe it is, will literally take you to the top, so that the fall can be even harder on purpose. So then, just be nice to people, we so, then just be nice to people. We're in the age of a reckoning. We are all witnessing it and it is quite interesting to witness, but because they were not good people and you can't do that.

Speaker 2:

You can't do that, you. I mean what come, what's done in the dark? Yes, we'll come, always we'll come to the light and kat williams said 2024 will be the year of truth. Let me tell you something?

Speaker 1:

I'm almost like was there something? Is there something you want to tell us, kat, about? Like so that's what I'm saying. Do you have like a, a sense that we don't know about? Like a few extra senses, because how did you know this?

Speaker 2:

I'm like what is the cheat code? What are you using that? I don't know that you knew? Yep, that has exposed everybody. I, everyone's going down. And so I think it's very important, as Blake is saying, to check yourself, yep, check your source, check the reason why you are interacting, the way in which you are with people, yep, and check your ego. First and foremost. Blake has that dog in her. I have that dog in me, yep, but it's never too much for me to be present, nope, and give someone all of me, yep At one moment, yep. So I would love to just end today's podcast episode off with my favorite question. I feel like this is every guest's favorite question, and we've talked about and digested every version of Blake, right? I'm curious to know how was it like building this table for every single version of Blake to sit at, and what version of her is sitting at the table currently today?

Speaker 1:

It's been treacherous. I haven't always been the best builder. The table has been wobbly, some of the legs have been longer than the other. The actual top of the table has not been screwed on too tight. It has been really beautiful, with some really challenging moments that I didn't think were beautiful until I was out of them, and I think that the current Blake is sitting at the table, happy to make any adjustments to the table, happy to make any adjustments to the seats, whereas I think the old versions of Blake used to be afraid to make mistakes while building this table and pulling up seats at this table, and I think that the Blake now welcomes it because when we talk about, like you said, every stage of my life has proven that it has worked out. So now, rather than freaking out and don't get me wrong, I am not above a why me moment I have them, I used to dwell in them, I used to vacation in the why me moments and I think that now I'm very much just driving through. It's like a bridge or a tunnel, like it is very. If I have a why me moment, it's very quick Because, like I said, my life has been proof that it works out.

Speaker 1:

I think that the current Blake at the table is very optimistic. This is the first ever version of myself, like I said, that understands that life will never be linear and is okay with that. That is okay. Taking inventory of what I need each day rather than what Blake needs in this large like it used to be, so, so broad, like, well, what is Blake going to be doing in a year? Okay, but you haven't assessed what Blake needs today. So how can you try to assess what you think Blake is going to need in a year? I'm just a lot more thoughtful. I'm a lot more thoughtful. I'm a lot more grounded in I feel, and the things that actually matter. I'm much better able to tune out the noise. But it is all because I have taken a lesson from every single seat that I've occupied inventory of who that Blake was when she sat in the seat, who that Blake was when she sat in that seat.

Speaker 1:

Then you will fail to be able to occupy the seat that you're sitting in properly and, I think, finally occupying a seat properly. I want to be clear. It does not mean that this is the last seat, but what it means is that I'm occupying it properly and that I understand that I'm going to have to pull up another seat and it's going to come with some wobbly legs perhaps and all of these things, but we're going to get to the seat and it's going to work. And it might come with some sadness, some frustration, some pain, but the seat is going to get pulled up and it is going to be a stable seat at some point. So I like this.

Speaker 1:

This is the version of Blake that I like the most and I think that's how life is supposed to be. You know what I'm saying. Like, I really like this play in this season. She's much more steadfast, she is much more strong-willed, which I did not think was possible. I'm a Sagittarius. I'm like, how did that even happen? But I am the most self-assured I've ever been in my life.

Speaker 2:

But I am the most self-assured I have ever been in my life. Wow, I love that, thank you. You know like it's so important to like yourself. Yes, and I think there's so many people who walk around and they are just so unhappy and they don't like themselves.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we see it in the things that you're on social media. We see it in things they say to us. We see it in the things that they say to others. I recently watched this TikTok that was talking about how people enjoy the rise and fall and people enjoy being a part of the rise and fall. They enjoy building these people up and then them doing something so that they can snatch their support away. They look forward to it.

Speaker 1:

I feel for these girls who are much younger than me, like the, like the, you know Monet's and things like that, cause I'm like 23 year old me couldn't handle it, you know, like I absolutely could not stomach that, and I do. The 29 year old Blake could. But when I look at these young girls who endure these people who hate them for no reason but the fact that they're shining, um, it makes me sad. But you have to be. That's why I say that I'm so happy now that I think before this, hopefully this new world big tv opens that I'm really self-assured. I'm like I'm not reading. No more damn lipstick alley threads. Y'all are miserable. I don't care about the comments, like I'm not doing it, like I don't care because I like. I like this Blake and the people that matter like this Blake, so I don't care if you like this Blake.

Speaker 2:

I love that, and so what's next for?

Speaker 1:

Blake, well, as I have beat with a dead horse this entire time. Pv is next in a few different capacities. We're working on things right now, but the ultimate goal, like I said, is the big show, some big hosting opportunities coming up, and I am working on some exciting Blake things that y'all have been asking for for a very long time. So we are looking forward to it.

Speaker 2:

I love that. And do you have any last parting words of encouragement for the girlies out there who have an arsenal full of drafts for their destiny but are really scared to just let it write itself?

Speaker 1:

you got to start hitting publish and see what happens you got to start hitting publish if you hold it in the draft too long. I just always think about how many people probably just aren't the biggest thing in the world just because they were afraid to hit publish and like how scary that must be because the world is a rough place and we're scared of criticism and all of these things. But at the end of the day, if you know your purpose, you know your why and you have people around you that support, you just do it. Yes, it will be uncomfortable. There are things that haven't always been well received, like some of my fit checks have bombed. The girls don't like. The fit Things fail. You dust yourself off and you keep going Because if it is what you want to do like you had said, I've really tried to live a destiny-driven life and if you feel like it is your destiny, you gotta hit publish and just see how the chips fall.

Speaker 2:

Wow, I needed that. You got to do. I'm like you still.

Speaker 1:

Like you said you're about to graduate Like you just gotta let the chips. You know, sometimes it's like you know what I'm actually just coasting. I don't know what's happening here. We're just gonna ride this wave and see where it drops me off at no, that is a tweet.

Speaker 2:

You just gotta hit publish. You just have to publish. Wow, oh my gosh, blake. Well, it has been so amazing having you here on that girl radio. Where can all of the girlies find you?

Speaker 1:

so I am on Instagram at Blake Lauren, but it's spelled a little funny Blame my mama. It's L-A-W-R-E-N. My TikTok is BlakeNewbie, underscore N-E-W-B-Y. People always ask why they're different. I tell them because I never believed I would make a TikTok, so I only created the account to watch and suddenly I started making TikToks and I just look out for the YouTube. It's already up, but look out for things on YouTube certain things in the next few months.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I'm so excited to tune in because I love your fit checks, I love your day in the life content, so to get possibly 30 to 40 minutes of that long form, long form.

Speaker 1:

I know that's what the girls, everybody's like the girls.

Speaker 2:

You got to do long form, so we're long forming oh gosh, we're gonna be fed, yes, in this new season, and I'm excited snapchat guys, I'm on the snapchat just like newbie.

Speaker 1:

I didn't realize everybody was going back to snapchat so I'm like I can't. I can't be last to the party like I was the tiktok, so I am on snapchat too.

Speaker 2:

Oh well, let me go ahead and download snapchat again, I am girl. Snapchat too oh well, let me go ahead and download Snapchat again. I am girl.

Speaker 1:

And that's where they're investing all this money in Snapchat. I'm like, well, let me not miss it, I was a little late to TikTok. I'm not going to be late to this funk.

Speaker 2:

Okay, we're going to ride the wave. We're going to ride the wave and hit publish yes and hit publish that part. Well, thank you all so much for tuning in to that Girl Radio with your lovely host here, rikki Lee. If you're not already following the podcast, make sure to do so on Instagram, at that Girl Radio. We post tons of content there for you guys to engage and learn more from the wise words and wisdom of all of our guests. And if you're not already following the podcast, on whatever platform you listen to us to make sure to. It helps us out a lot so you can share the word and more women like yourself who want to live and design their dream life can do so as well. I love you guys and I will catch you next week.